negativeone | ( au post ) i become location and you veer towards me.

Thanks. [ He waits, listening to him unwrap and set everything out. After a minute or two, he reaches out for the smoothie drink first, opening it to take a sniff first, and then a sip.

He listens as he drinks, brow furrowing a little bit. ] I heard. It's---there was a lot of whispering here. I couldn't catch all of it cause ---well, I didn't exactly stay calm when I woke up.

Did you catch anything off? [Well, that's sure as hell got his attention. Frank tries not to seem as startled as he is by the incident.] I'm uh, I am sorry about your eyes, Murdock. I tried my best to clean them, stop what was happening but I couldn't.

They seemed worried. Their heartbeats were so fast.

[ He shifts and sets the drink on the tray, and reaches out to find his hand, grasping at the air. He shakes his head, more by reflex than anything. ] I know. Hey, Frank? There wasn't anything you could do.

I know you tried.

Heartbeats? Murdock, what meds did they put you on?

[ Quietly, Frank reaches to take the grasping hand in his own. ] Still, wish it didn't have to be like this.

No, Castle. I heard them.

[ He sighs, but squeezes the other man's hand. It sounds crazy, it must. ]

Can't do anything now. I--I'll be okay. You're the one that has to deal with the new guy soon, right? Gonna ship me back.

Right, Murdock. Drink your juice.

[A frown tugs at his brow, and he shrugs, hand still holding Matt's.] I think I got one more tour in me. Just one more. Then I think I'm done, Red.

[ He pulls his hand away, squeezing Frank's again as he goes to find the juice again, opening it and taking a sip. ]

Home with Maria and the kids then? Doing chores and fixing up the place?

Yeah. Hell, I ought to take her place. The kids will love it.

[He laughs a little.] You gonna get any kind of help when you get back? I know you got your old man and all.

That'd be something to see. I'll have to come by and harass you.

[ He grins a bit, but it fades a little too fast. ] I don't know. They're talking about the VA hospital to help me acclimate to this---I just---I'm not sure what to do, man.

Yeah, yeah. Seriously, man, you know Maria would have you over anytime, Lisa and Frankie love you too. I just... I'm tired, man. I want my wife, my kids.

[An exhale escapes, nose pinched between thumb and forefinger.] Hey, that's a good place to start. I can ask David, see if he knows anywhere to start.

I know. I wouldn't mind dropping in.

[ He hears the heavy sigh, and his chest tightens a little in response. ] Yeah, that'd be good. I think it'll just be nice to be home again.

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. You wanna go home, Red?

[ He shifts a little uncomfortably. ]

I don't know. I guess? Think I mostly just wanna see my old man again.

Yeah. Bet he misses you. Going home gives you a new sense of purpose. I think you’ll find it.

He does. I'm, uh---I'm not sure how to tell him about this shit, though.

[ He finishes the drink and sets the empty bottle on the tray. He fidgets after, with the scratchy sheet. ]

You haven't told him yet? [He takes the bottle to toss it out.] You uh, want me to?

I just woke up not long ago, and I haven't exactly had access to a phone. [ He's still fidgeting with the sheet though, twisting it in his hands. ]

Anyways, how the fuck am I supposed to---Hey dad, I'm coming home. By the way I can't see shit anymore, so that's going to be a hell of a thing.

[ He licks his lips and shakes his head. ] No, I---I can do it I just---I just gotta figure out the how.

Yeah. Yeah, you tell him you had an accident, tell him you can’t see. Don’t gotta go into too much detail ‘til you get back, but I think he ought to know and you can’t equivocate with this, Matty.

You uh, I can sit with you when you call, maybe. Shit, I don’t know.

Yeah. [ Another long pause. ] I'd like that.

If you stayed here when I call him later. You don't mind?

Wouldn’t have offered if I did, Red.

Only condition’s that we gotta listen to the music I want.

[ Matt grins, crooked and tired. ]

Sure, but you've got to dig out my IPod.

[ Frank digs through Matt's bag, grabs the speaker and iPod out of it to start playing music. He chooses Earth Wind and Fire, something he'd put on there himself, and waits a few moments for the beat to soak in the room before he reaches for Matt's hand again, gaze downcast. ]

You know you got me right, Red?

Edited 2017-10-29 06:40 (UTC)

[ He relaxes back when Frank starts digging through his bag, pulls out the speaker and his iPod, and puts on what he does. He threads his fingers through Frank's, the other man's tone morose. ]

I know I do. I know.

Good. You don't have to do this alone, y'know. Neither of us have to. [He sighs, sighs, feels exhaustion wash over him in that old way. It gets worse, heavier every time this happens, and maybe he left something back in Kandahar too.

He leans in, quieter now.]

It ain't my job to question orders, Matty, but I could knock Agent Orange's teeth down his fucking throat. [And maybe he's already punched one of his eyes out. That somehow doesn't feel satisfying enough, never will until he gets both of them, maybe, until he feels what Matty feels now. He keeps that thought decidedly to himself.]

I know we don't. Just---didn't expect to be going home. Especially not---[ Like this. He falters on the words, going quiet. It works out cause Frank's voice has gone low for just him.

He can't help the chuckle. ] Yeah, well you're the one that told him, right? That it was an ambush. Heard there was already a fight in the tent. [ He licks his lips, squeezing Frank's hand a little tighter, and clears his throat to speak again. ] Maybe---maybe it's not just time for me to leave, huh?

Maybe it's time for you to go home too?

[ He's always been good at telling when Frank has gone down to a dark place that makes him hard to reach. The place that takes a little at a time each time they go out. The one that lingers in his eyes when he wakes up stateside even with Maria there with him. ] Call it quits?

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