negativeone | ( au post ) i become location and you veer towards me.

[ Matt can hear how his breathing pushes out and catches, wet and caught somewhere deep in his chest. He doesn't try to help, at least not until he's asked, and when Frank doesn't, he fails to push.

He let's the other man grip at his arms, and nods, turning his face a little at the touch to his cheek. His mouth stings, but it isn't bleeding. ]

I'm okay. I was just out. I heard---I heard you. I'm here now.

You didn't need to do that, Matty. [He sounds exasperated but it's at himself more than Matt, not at Matt. His hand moves Matt's face, side to side, as if examining him. The urge to press his forehead against Matt's eats at him but he doesn't, simply sits still.]

Yeah--yeah. You're here now.

No, but I wanted to. [ He says it, earnestness in his tone. He lets Frank move his face, check him over, and he's glad that it isn't a worse night. When the other man doesn't move, Matt does, and carefully finds his forehead with his own as he leans down. ]

What do you need? [ It sounds stupid out loud, of course Matt knows what he needs. To wake up and not be in Matt's living room. To be in his own bed with Maria smiling at him or the kids piling in to say good morning. Matt can't give him that. If he could, he would. The question is related to himself, because he is all that he has to offer. ] Tell me what I can do.

[This is stupid, stupid and Frank lets out an acidic laugh, mirthless. The sound resembles sandpaper against gravel, maybe, throat sore. His eyes sting against his will but he resolutely doesn’t cry. Marines make do, Marines make do, but how can anyone make do with something like this, even a fucking Marine?

He breathes out, forcefully even, as Matt’s forehead finds his. For the first time in awhile, Frank feels lucid, lucid and aware enough to wrap his arms around Matt in a hug and not think he’s Maria or Lisa or Frankie. So he does, the embrace probably a little awkward and tense, partly because his motor skills are a funny thing still and because he really doesn’t know how to deal with this shit.

Tone quit when he speaks again, gruff as ever.] Nothing you ain’t already doing, Red.

[ Matt can hear his suffering like a bell tolling. The sandpaper and gravel sound of his laugh is bitter as he breathes in, like it leaves a trace on his tongue as it hangs in the air between them. It takes like life, fucked up as it is, and rings out like a bell tolling time that's due.

He feels him breathe, feels the heat of their bodies close together, and hopes that this space between them now is enough. Hopes that it means something cause Matt is at a loss. He relaxes a little though, when Frank manages to wind his arms around him partway. The fact that he can do as much is a marvel and a miracle. His arms come up around him to wrap around the other man's more bulky frame. ]

If it's enough.

Yeah. [ Frank nods, tries to relax when Max's arms are around him. He's small, has always been a lithe and sinewy thing especially in comparison to him, but the warmth and wiry sinew of his form is comforting. The smell of sweat, blood, his shampoo--Frank feels his eyes getting heavier again and a smile coasts his lips. There's some mirth there, if you look close enough, as minute as that smile may be.

His grip grows a little firmer and it's awkward because now Matt's nearly in his lap and the couch is far too small for the two of them, smaller than Frank as Matt may be. And yet, Frank lies his cheek on Matt's shoulder, lets himself be held because fuck if anyone will ever see him like this, and relaxes, eyes fluttering closed as he breathes. ]

Yeah, perfect.

[ Matt can't see him anymore, but he remembers what he looks like from before. He can hear the muscles moving that indicate that smile, however slight. Frank smells like Matt's shampoo, currently, but there's this electricity to him that he's not sure how to describe. It's a sort of thing he's picked up since Kandahar.

He doesn't want to move, but the position he's in is a bit awkward. He shifts, because sitting beside him means he breaks the two of them apart, and eventually gives up to straddle his lap. It puts them impossibly close, but it doesn't matter. He can feel the hammering of Frank's heart in his chest, and feel the warmth of his cheek against his shoulder. ]

I'm glad.

[ They're close, impossibly close, but Frank doesn't see himself extracting from Matt at all, not anytime soon, even if the other smells more and more like blood and grime. Only Maria's touched him like this, sat in his lap like this and held him like this, and he thinks he would take her place in a heartbeat. In the same instant, he knows, innately, that he would do anything for Matt too. ]

I'm tired, Matty. So tired.

[ He looks up at him, then lets his head fall under his chin, needier than he's ever been for anyone besides Maria, again, more earnest too. ] You know I'd do anything for you, right? I wanna... I need to go after them. The ones that did this to me, to Maria, to the babies. I hear them, all the time. They need me.

[ This is a good night, then. Sometimes when he comes back he smells worse. It all depends. The day he met Claire he didn't get the scent of the dumpster off of his clothes for about five washes. Never mind the blood he'd soaked through his entire outfit. ]

Yeah. Me too.

[ It isn't something he admits lightly. It's something he feels he can to Frank. Frank understands. He doesn't think anyone else would be able to. He reaches up to get at least one of his gloves off, and then that hand finds its way up to cradle the back of Frank's head, fingers brushing over his hair. It's longer, now, than he ever remembers it being. Mostly because the hospital couldn't have given a shit, or the people that would have were kept too far away from him.

It makes his pulse quicken with upset all over again, almost as bad as the night that the man brought Frank back to his door. ] I know you would. We'll find them. They'll pay for this.

[ He tries not to think about his dad, at least here. He thinks about him a lot when he's out like he was. He thinks about Frank's family to. Sometimes it's that push he needs when he should be down for the count and far too outnumbered. ]

( au post ) i become location and you veer towards me.

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